


Crossroads

by PerriewinkleNerdie



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:36:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29888118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerriewinkleNerdie/pseuds/PerriewinkleNerdie
Summary: Ethan realizes he's been screwing up and decides to talk to Claire about it.
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart)
Kudos: 13





	Crossroads

Harper stood up from her chair, gathering her things and putting them into her bag. It was getting pretty late and she was dying to eat something and then go home. Luckily, her shift has just ended and she had plans with the youngest member of the Diagnostic Team.

“Thank god it’s the end for today.” she sighed, pulling her jacket on. Claire nodded, wrapping a scarf around her neck to keep herself warm against the chilly autumn evening. Ethan eyed the two women with a bit of envy in his eyes. His shift was far from over – another three hours to go, including a meeting with Bloom. He could already feel a headache approaching.

“Don’t rub it in, it’s bad enough as it is.” He complained, shaking his head to chase away the mist of discomfort at the mere thought of his new boss.

“If you survive, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Don’t murder him.” Claire winked at Ethan, an attempt to lift his spirit a bit; completely successful. A hint of humor danced on his face.

“I won’t make any promises. Not after the stunts he’s been pulling lately.”

As Claire turned to follow Harper, she felt a hand wrapping around her wrist and a gentle pull. In a blink of an eye, she was standing right in front of Ethan, a tender grin lighting up his features. He leaned down, kissing her goodbye tenderly. Her surprise was quickly masked by a delighted smile, his low hum creating a tingling sensation against her skin.

“Have a good night.” She muttered, tracing the outline of his lips with her fingers. Ethan kissed them, looking straight at her as he did so. Speechless for a moment, she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him again, sweetly and shortly. As she took a step back, Ethan responded with utmost seriousness.

“If I don’t call you in three hours, send a search party.”

“For you?” Claire asked, grinning even wider when he brought her back towards him by the ends of her scarf. Ethan’s own lips twisted upwards a bit.

“Oh no, for Leland. An hour in a meeting with him is my absolute limit.”

“I’ll come back for you, murder weapons ready.”

“You two are adorable.” Harper interrupted them, the couple turning towards her abruptly, red tinting their cheeks. She was giving them a knowing look, accompanied by a wide grin. “But I’m starving, Herondale, so let’s go for our dinner date and leave Ethan here to suffer.”

Ethan glanced between the two women in surprise, his eyes lingering on the one by his side. “You wouldn’t be that cruel.”

“I’ll send you pictures.” She winked, then pressed a warm kiss to his cheek and joined Harper, the two of them talking excitedly about something in hushed tones.

~

Three hours and two minutes later, her phone lit up with a call from Ethan.

“I was about to start the car.” She teased, reclining on her bed with a soft hum. On the other end of the line, she could hear his exasperated tone.

“I don’t even know what these meetings are for. They’re utterly useless, nothing ever gets done.”

“Leland clearly doesn’t want you to go home to your ‘whatever-we-want-to-be’.” Claire pointed out, almost absentmindedly. He felt a prickling sensation in his chest at the very obviously glaring lack of a term they could use to describe one another. The softest undertone of insecurity in her voice didn’t help either.

“Claire…” he sighed, running his hand over his face. Her tone revealed her vulnerability without lacking the stern conviction.

“Ethan.”

“I- “ he tried to express what he was feeling, but no matter how hard he tried, nothing happened.

He’s been losing focus – he knows it now. It hasn’t occurred to him up until recently, because he’s been doing it without even thinking about it, but it was the truth. As of late, his relations with Harper have been friendly to say the least. There was a time after they broke up, when things were strained, and conversation wasn’t easy for them. Now, they were back on their loose dynamic, which he appreciated, considering that they now worked together.

But in the excitement of having two people he trusted on the team – Claire and Harper – he gravitated towards the memory lane with his old flame that has been extinguished a long time ago, completely neglecting how it could affect his current relationship.

And it did affect it. He didn’t see it at first, because he took Claire’s hand into his every occasion he got, he hugged her and kissed her and took her home more times than he could count. She joked with Harper and made plans with her. On the surface, there was nothing wrong. But then came the moments in between, in which she would go quiet and her face would fall a little. Ethan noticed – of course he did – but wrote it off as a Leland thing, not an Ethan thing.

After some time, however, he started noticing how his conversations with Harper lined up with her change of behavior. It was his first clue that something was amiss, but she never said anything.

And then Ethan tried to picture the situation from her perspective. How he would handle things if instead of Harper, Claire’s ex were to join the team and she would focus solely on him and their memories while he was sitting _right there next to her_. Left out of the conversation until he’d redirect them towards the main focus of the meeting.

Chaos would ensue.

A pit in his stomach opened at the mere thought of that happening and he knew for sure that he’s been screwing up the last couple of weeks. Yes, they’ve been doing things together, getting a coffee, driving home and kissing until they were breathless, but there was no label on them. He didn’t know what they were, and he desperately needed to remedy that.

If only his mind would come up with things to say.

He lost all the words he’s ever learned. She now possessed everything he’s ever owned. His every thought and every word. Every beat of his heart and every breath he was taking. He’s felt it for such a long time that he no longer remembered what it was like to not have her rule over his heart. He let his head accept it too.

She was his happy ending.

But Claire didn’t know that yet. Because he never told her. He’s had so many chances to tell her and he didn’t.

“I know.” She said before they ended the call and he got reminded of all the times those two words fell between them. Hanged between them like an invisible curtain and protected them from the view. Covered him when he ran away from her like a coward instead of staying by her side. Built a bridge between them when they were trying to make it work without giving into what they both knew they wanted.

And now, it worked as a shield. A shield she used to not let him know how affected she was by the lack of any confirmation regarding what they were or his behavior. He was well aware of what she was doing – he’s done the very same thing countless of times before.

But they weren’t hiding anymore. _He_ wasn’t hiding anymore. He knew exactly what he wanted – _her_ – and he’d be damned if she lived another day without knowing how he felt.

No time like present.

He called her again ten minutes later, out of breath and clearly on edge.

“Ethan?” she sounded surprised and a bit tired, which was understandable. It was well into the evening.

“Open the door.” his voice was strained, his desperation clear as day.

“What?” sobering up immediately, she asked a bit too loud, given the hour.

“Open the door, Claire.”

Confused and a little intrigued, she walked towards the front door, looking over her shoulder to check where her housemates were. Sienna and Jackie were asleep on the couch, Elijah was probably in his room and Aurora was still at the hospital. No one would know of her late-night visitor.

Or interrupt them, for that matter.

He waited with bated breath for her to appear in her doorway. It was late enough for her to be asleep, and he knew that coming here was a gamble, but the thought of not seeing her when the situation between them was strained seemed like an impossibility.

She opened the door, revealing herself, tired but wide awake, clad in nothing but his t-shirt. A tingle of content ran down his spine when he realized that even when he wasn’t by her side at night, she had something of his near her.

“Did something happen?” Claire asked, leaning against the frame, her arms crossed over her chest. Ethan’s eyes took in her face; the way her green irises looked like two emeralds, sparkling right back at him and the way the lines were enhanced by the shadows.

“No.” he answered, then shook his head. “Yes.”

“What is it, Ethan?”

Their gazes crossed, not for the first time this evening, and he could feel himself getting lost in her. She’s always had this power over him – making him forget about the whole world. But now, he couldn’t afford to get distracted. He was there for a reason, an important one at that.

“Can I come in?”

The door to her room closed behind them a short minute later, the soft light of her bedside lamp casting long shadows on the walls. Ethan took a tiny step towards her, lifting his hand to rest it on her shoulder, trailing it down towards her hand. He was cautious, not wanting to push her too far. She had every right to be upset with him and if she chose to keep her distance for now, he wouldn’t dream of ignoring her wishes. She didn’t flinch, however, so he took a step further.

Wordlessly, he pulled her into his waiting arms, burying his face in her hair as soon as she was close enough for him to do that. Her scent has always intoxicated him, making him feel lightheaded and invincible at the same time.

She didn’t protest, wrapping her arms around his chest and tracing nonsensical patterns on his back. They remained in their little bubble for a while, neither saying or doing anything to disrupt it. He knew that she’d ask eventually – it was in her nature to be curious – but for just a moment longer, he cherished the silent comfort of her embrace.

“Ethan?” she mumbled into the skin of his neck, a small sound in the big space around them. He sighed quietly, gathering his wits to convey all the things he was feeling towards the woman in his arms.

“I realized something.” he started slowly, letting her dictate whether she wanted to remain this close to him for their conversation or not. Claire leaned away a fraction, but not enough to lose physical contact with him. “And I just couldn’t wait to explain it.”

“You’re here now. Whatever it is, tell me.”

Ethan looked at her with enough admiration to power the whole city of Boston. The warmth of his embrace and the confidence of his stare made her shiver.

“We’ve never talked about what it is that we have.” His voice suddenly lost its strength, instead taking on a gentler tone; one he reserved only for her and only when they were alone. “A gross oversight on my part, for which I want to apologize.”

“It’s about time.” Claire mused under her breath, placing her hands on his shoulders and running her thumbs over the sides of his neck. Ethan blinked slowly.

“I know. You’re in a relationship with the most imperceptive man you could have chosen.” He confessed, looking at her with shame in his eyes. “It’s all new to me; _you’re_ new to me. I’ve never had a serious relationship before.” he revealed, leaning an inch forward so that they noses touched. “I’ve never wanted to have someone to come back home to. Someone to hold and to hold me when things get rough.” His eyes found hers again and the depth of his emotions knocked the air out of her lungs. “Someone who made me want to be a better man just because they believed that I could. But I do now.”

If she was breathless before, she was sure she would now suffocate from the lack of air in her lungs. The intensity of his stare, the certainty in his voice and the way he was holding her filled her whole being with warmth she’s never felt before.

“You’re ‘it’ for me, Claire. I’m convinced I’m never going to find anyone like you ever again. I’m not even interested in searching any further.” Ethan took her face into his hands as he spoke right to her, staring into her eyes. She couldn’t look away if she tried. “You’re the ending I didn’t know I was looking for and I don’t want anyone but you. Because no one else matters.”

Claire stared at him with wide eyes. She’s waited for him to say those things for months, and now he did. So why did she still feel the insistent nagging in the back of her head?

It felt like being stuck on the crossroads. He’s saying all the things she wants to hear, and she knows he means it. Every single word is accompanied by a genuine spark in his eye and an insistent hold of his arms around her. He wants this, he wants _her_.

So why…

“I know you mean it.” she started, squeezing his shoulders softly. A melancholic frown returned to her features, making Ethan feel unease again. “But it’s hard to believe it when 90% of times I see you at work, you’re laughing it up with Harper.” Claire cleared her throat uncomfortably, trying to decide if she should take a step back to create some space between them or not. The way Ethan squeezed her sides told her he didn’t want her to do that.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad Harper and you found friendship despite being exes. Not to mention that working with you two is like magic.” She continued, making sure that what she felt wasn’t misunderstood. “It’s just uncomfortable for me to be the odd one out, having to watch you have the time of your life with her while I’m right by your side.”

Ethan knew perfectly well what she meant, and he was prepared for that conversation. Having her say it directly to his face only added onto the ignominy he was already feeling. With a heavy breath, he nodded.

“I’m not only imperceptive, but also oblivious.” He resisted the urge to lower his head, instead steadying himself for what was coming. “I wasn’t thinking. It’s easy to get lost in the memories, to immerse myself in the past. I now realize that what I’ve been doing is unacceptable and I’m ashamed to say it, but it’s only occurred to me how these situations make you feel when I flipped the situation and looked at it from your perspective.”

Embarrassment swirled in his blue irises, making them lose the spark she was so used to seeing in them. She could tell how much it weighed on him, the way he was behaving. Ethan continued with urgency she’s seen only once before, in a room full of plastic. “It was never my intention to cast you aside. To disrespect you in any way. I’ve waited years to be openly with you, I don’t want you to leave me now that I have you.” Dropping his voice to a sincere whisper, he looked straight into her eyes. “Forgive me.”

Claire held her breath for a bit, knowing that he was doing the exact same thing. Waiting for her to decide his fate.

She nodded slowly, breathing out as she gave him the answer. “You’re forgiven.” Ethan smiled so widely, his cheeks almost cramped, diving towards her with enthusiasm but was stopped. She pressed her index finger to his lips. “But don’t think that I’ll tolerate any more of this. You’re supposed to be in a relationship with me. Start acting like it.”

“Of course.” He nodded solemnly, regaining the spark of happiness in his gaze. “I wouldn’t dream of anything else. You deserve better than a clueless man.” He was deadly serious and she knew it, but despite that, she gave him a hint of a smile at his words. “Feel free to call me out on my behavior when I act like an idiot again.”

“Oh, I will. You can count on it.”

An invisible pull threw him onto her, fitting his lips against hers in a slow kiss that skyrocketed to the searing heights. Her hands got lost in his hair, threading and pulling on it with wild intensity as his own fingers explored her body, even though he knew every curve and every dip.

Air supply was running thin for both of them, but neither could find it in themselves to lean away. Their lungs begged for oxygen and yet they gave into what their hearts and minds demanded – each other. When they finally did pull apart, they only did so for a fraction of a second and they held onto one another with strength neither knew they possessed.

“Be mine.” Ethan panted, taking a break from kissing her neck to look at her as his brain threw images and sounds at him – memories of their past encounters. “My partner, my girlfriend, my woman – whatever you want, I’m yours.”

“Mine.” she smiled, pressing their bodies an inch closer. “My Ethan.”

Unable to fight his urges anymore, he picked her up and carried her to her bed, falling onto the mattress with finesse. He let her lie down gently, covering her body with his and their kisses resumed, the intensity not lost on them.

Ethan’s hand trailed down her body to the hem of his shirt, dipping beneath it to run a finger along the seam of her panties. “Your housemates are right behind the wall.”

A spark of mischief flashed in her eyes when she reached for his hand to pull him closer to where she wanted him, pressing her palm between his legs at the same time. “Then you better keep quiet.”


End file.
